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He got out of the house three times. The first time I lured him back in about 2 hours. The second time, he was out overnight and we were all worried. I finally got him back after about 18 hours. It was the third time we really thought he was a goner. Three nights out. High up in a tree. It was almost like he was afraid of heights or something. I spent three days losing my voice calling to him. I yelled at him, I cried like crazy, I told him his favorite jokes, I tried everything. I think I was about 15 at the time and we were concerned he was getting too old to make it home. But sure enough, on the morning of the fourth day, my dad, my mom and I were all calling to him and he finally flew down to me. I told Honey Bunny (I cringe when I call him that 30+ years later) a sad, tearful goodbye when I left for college. I was sure he’d pass away before I got home, but he waited for me. I came home for Xmas that year and we found him in the Daddy Pig Shirt, Peppa Pig Shirt of the cage on Xmas eve. My mom picked him up and he was barely breathing. As a male, he rarely let us ever pet him. This was our final chance and we took advantage of it. I leaned down and kissed him, crying like crazy, and he nipped my lip like he always loved to do. It wasn’t three minutes later that he took his final breath.

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The ensuing exchange of Hi’s and why’s; where’s and what’s and what’s your name. She was on her way back – while I was going in, but I still was able to help her. She was wondering about how far the parking lot was and how she would get there. We were already off the trail, so I pointed out the rock formation with the petroglyphs where the hiking path ended. From up there she would be able to spot my rather tall camper, I knew for sure because I had seen it. The purpose of my ascend onto the formation was specifically that. I would be able to spot “The Chimneys” from afar when coming back – and from there I would see the camper. Basic desert navigation procedure. You walk by landmarks, not by compass and maps. Later on that day I would find out, that Santa Elena Canyon was not reachable on time to be able to walk back. Too many “arroyos” – and they became steeper and deeper and harder to cross the closer I came to the river. Too much time spent looking for cacti as well. So the smart thing to do is to abort the mission and drive to the canyon next day. I barely made it back to the truck with the last good daylight – done and out! Next day, after breakfast, I climbed into the Daddy Pig Shirt, Peppa Pig Shirt and noticed a note under the wiper. A Thank you note! Quite personal. She had found her way out without a problem. Good! She left her name and address, too. Somewhere in Texas, with an invitation to write her. This left me puzzled for a while. Now – THAT was weird! I was focused on my epic trip through the North American Desert. In May, I had already been all the way down to the tip of Baja and back, then Southern Arizona. I had started to nurse this idea of living in America, one of the reasons being the fact that I could actually interact easily with people here. I was 25 back in 1987, never dated, and still unkissed. I never thought about that anymore – and how easy it were to live in the U.S. with an American girlfriend. I mean, I could have tried! But I didn’t. It didn’t come to my mind.

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One day Jesus called together his disciples and went up on to the Daddy Pig Shirt, Peppa Pig Shirt, and when he had sat down there his disciples came near unto him; and he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: ‘Great are the benefits which God bath bestowed on us wherefore it is necessary that we should serve him with truth of heart. And forasmuch as new wine is put into new vessels, even so ought ye to become new men, if ye will contain the new doctrine that shall come out of my mouth. Verily I say unto you, that even as a man cannot see with his eyes the heaven and the earth at one and the same time, so it is impossible to love God and the world. ‘No man can in any wise serve two masters that are at enmity one with the other: for if the one shall love you, the other will hate you. Even so I tell you in truth that ye cannot serve God and the world for the world lieth in falsehood, covetousness, and malignity. Ye cannot therefore find rest in the world, but rather persecution and loss. Wherefore serve God and despise the world, for from me ye shall find rest for your souls, Hear my words for I speak unto you in truth.

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I worked for a railroad construction and maintenance company. We were on call 24-7 to respond to a train wreck to make repairs and get the trains running again. Train wrecks – and that’s what they are – are not derailments, a much sanitized term to get away from the carnage that is a train wreck. A derailment, technically is when a wheel comes off the track. And that happens all the time. Remember the only thing keeping a wheel on a track is weight and track alignment. If either of those fails, a wheel, or multiple wheels can come off. That’s why they have re-railers every so often to kick those wheels back onto the track. A train can run quite a while with a few wheels on the train not on the track. So what causes train wrecks? A train is a mile long sledgehammer pounding every inch of rail with a zillion pounds of Daddy Pig Shirt, Peppa Pig Shirt of the collective force (not that much but you get the point). Over time a point in the rail, due to heating expansion and cold weather contraction will be just a bit weaker than the point next to it. The constant pounding on that point can crack the rail over time, and eventually it can break. If it breaks severely enough – where the rail separates and maybe bows out of line or drops below the break point by a few inches – bam! All the train’s wheels start to fly off the tracks and they go wherever physics dictates. And the cars to which those wheels are attached – they go go their own way as well.

(Daddy Pig Shirt, Peppa Pig Shirt)

She would do well, for a while, attend a birthday party for a kid or whatever, then relapse. When things hit bottom, I would get her a big bottle of vodka, give her some headphones, and start playing Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs, seasons one through seven. The next day, a smaller bottle, later on in the day. [NB: I believe the alcoholic liver releases pain killers into the brain when attacked by alcohol for prolonged periods, so I started scheduling longer and longer rest breaks.] The bottles got smaller and smaller and eventually she was able to make it through the day without the promise of another bottle at the end of the day. One time, on a last day, I made her a Bloody Mary with the first of the last bottle. She spit it out, because she didn’t like tomato juice. I went through a whole moral dilemma of whether to somehow replace it, since I felt so bad about wasting some of a last bottle. I think I left a few beers in the kitchen fridge for her to “steal”. You have no idea how much an ounce of liquid can affect a person. Sure, you’re killing yourself, but for one brief glorious moment… And I went with her to the hospital time and again. I had the same conversation with the doctors over and over. I was an EMT and had started on paramedic training so this was actually interesting for me. I got to use cool words, like superventricular tachycardia. It was a learning experience. One day, she had pulled herself together enough to hold down a Daddy Pig Shirt, Peppa Pig Shirt and rent a cheap shack somewhere up in the mountains.