Ho Ho Hold My Beer Christmas Ugly Sweater Party

Alright party people, this Crazy Bitch MIL needs a name since she apparently isn’t going anywhere. I am writing on behalf of Ho Ho Hold My Beer Christmas Ugly Sweater Party bestie who is reddit (and computer) illiterate. Bitch bot will let you in on the juicy details, but yes. I am ‘That Red Wine Bitch’. Anyway, so I guess you are all wondering why I called you here. When we last left off Crazy Bitch MIL was booked for assault on Easter Sunday, after showing up from a few states away and 2 years of NC. She did not post bail and sat in jail until her court date a few days ago. In which a sympathetic judge ignored testimony from the son AND the police officer. Her charges were reduced and she was let go after having to pay a pretty hefty trespassing fee and being told she had to keep her nose clean for a year. So she then saw the error of her ways and pranced home. Yea. Fucking. Right. Let me set the scene, Mother’s Day, 2018. Sunny, warm, with a hint of coastal breeze to make the weather perfect. Friend’s mother lives across the country so they decided to join our friends group at an outdoor event with sunshine, beats, picnic food and booz. We all had a wonderful time on my side of the pond.

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Ho Ho Hold My Beer Christmas Ugly Sweater Party,

Best Ho Ho Hold My Beer Christmas Ugly Sweater Party

I couldn’t see Bridger near the Ho Ho Hold My Beer Christmas Ugly Sweater Party. I started to speak as I turned around “I dunno, maybe he-“ The shock of seeing him made me snort a ridiculous noise as I flinched, reflexively shooting my hands up to the sides of my head like I was trying to block a stray baseball, causing Sash jump and almost drop her little platter “what babe?!” Bridger was standing maybe 2 feet behind us, staring right into my eyes. “He’s just, right here, like, literally standing right… here” I said as I stepped toward Bridger and slowly extended my palm onto his chest. There was a very subtle resistance, no more than a soap bubble, or static electricity, the air felt warmer. He never took his eyes from mine. “Weeeird.” Sasha was watching me wide-eyed “are you touching him?” I pulled my hand back “… kinda” I glanced over my shoulder. All four of the others had stormed over to stand in an arc directly behind Sasha. She watched my gaze and looked terrified, seeming to gather what’d happened. As if I’d told her she had a spider crawling up her back, she hunched her posture protectively, snuck a glance over her shoulder, then back at me. My heart was pounding, eardrums rumbling as a torrent of violent anger flowed through me, clenching my jaw and fists. Breath man. They can’t touch her, it’s fine. “They can’t touch you, it’s fine Sash. They’re just… around us now… Come stand next to me. Let’s get this over with.” She walked over and stood by my side, all five of the ghosts’ angry eyes glued to her. She glanced at me nervously. “You have their attention,” I said as I waved my hand in an arc to indicate where they were, “not sure how you thought this would go, but… go ahead, give em their Christmas gift.” I laughed nervously at my own comment, which made her almost laugh. She took a breath, straightened her back, then stepped forward. She took a knee, and rested the plate of rural Idaho-sourced Afghan cuisine into the snow, then stood up and looked ahead, not knowing she was looking straight into Bridger’s face.

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Thanks so much for this, it’s started a Ho Ho Hold My Beer Christmas Ugly Sweater Party that is super educational for me as I start hopefully de-frumping. for me, the idea of intentionality definitely rings true. My feeling is that some people who are gifted at this can wear nearly anything and pull it off because they have planned and combined pieces in a way that just works. Me, on the other hand….well. It’s gotten to a point where I am just wearing things because they cover my body (not even because they fit). So step one is to get things that are current and on trend and fit my body. I’m doing this with an eye to which colors suit me – no more black t-Shirts/longsleeves. It’s very far from „having style“ but you gotta start somewhere. I know I am not the only one here struggling w/this, and none of it is easy. From making the decision to change, to researching what works, to then actually finding things that fit/look good/you can afford, it takes time and energy and a certain amount of battling demons. Anyway, that got a little long but thanks to everyone commenting and sharing opinions!!