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I’d learned how to talk about emotions on my own at Satan pew pew madafakas shirt and when we spoke I learned way more about my mother than what she’d chosen to share when we were younger. How her parents didn’t talk about feelings, how her mother was more interested in my mother not bringing shame upon her, my mother having a bad relationship with the man who’s the father of my halfbrothers (whom they hate), how he threatened to kill both her and the kids if she left, being a single mother in a town that almost bullied my halfbrothers to death, getting no alamony from that man.

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Then she met my dad, had four more kids – but then her body broke down. The hips, the neck, the Satan pew pew madafakas shirt, and then cancer. She’s been prescribed lotsa painkillers by doctors whom it seems was more interested in getting her to go away rather than finding out what was wrong. When the cancer was found it was by sheer luck, and only after she had withered into a tiny weak lady. After these years, looking back on my childhood, i now feel more angry about all of these shitty doctors that stole my mother away from me, since all of her energy had been drained from fighting to get care while drowning in medication she didn’t want.